Blogging, Humor, Life

2016: My Year Of Hella No

What. A. Year. It began with a man I loved and a three month trip to Italy.

It ended with me finding out the man I loved is a lying cheater with no soul. Oh, and dead eyes. (I just realized this as I was writing this post.) A man who came with me on that trip to Italy just so he could “hook up” with the wife of a couple we met on our first trip to Italy. After a year and a half of sexting, and texting, and secret emails, and private Skype calls, I finally found out what was going on and he’s no longer part of my life.

(I’ll wait while you scrape off that mental layer of eww.)

So, 2015. Come a little closer so I can kick your sorry ass out the door. *wipes that shit off her boots*

Imagine how much I’m looking forward to 2016. Because it’s going to be a year that’s all about me, what I want, what I need.

What do I want and what do I need? I want and need to learn how to say no.

Did you know it’s okay to say no? I didn’t. Hello from me, the people pleaser. I’m the person who used to say yes, when I wanted to say no. I’m the person who put everyone else’s needs before my own. Because, at the time, it felt like the right thing to do. I’m the one who wanted everyone to get along, no conflict, no drama.

I turned into a total doormat and didn’t realize it.

So, 2016 is my year for saying “hella no!” and it starts now.

No. To putting other’s needs before my own. If it’s not something I want to do, it’s going to be “thanks, but no.” Will that be easy? No. So I’m tattooing “I matter” on my forearm, where I can see it if I start to fall back into old patterns.

No. To passive-aggressive relationships with narcissistic pathological liars. My Spidey sense is tuned into that station.

No. To Doritos. Of any kind. They give me gas and that’s just not acceptable.

No. To that second serving of anything. Because along with losing the wasband, I lost 25 lbs. and I don’t want him or that poundage back. Ever.

No. To not writing what I want, how I want, because I might offend someone who reads what I write. People I don’t know and have never met, mind you. That is totally fucked up thinking. So, yes, I will be using the f-word frequently. Because, fuck it.

No. To accepting anything less than I deserve. I’m the lead character in my life and I mean to take center stage. So I put up a giant gold star on my bedroom door, with the word “STAR” written in swirly purple glitter. It’s ugly as fuck because I’m not that good with a glue gun. Yet.

No. To spending time with anyone who just can’t be bothered. About anything. Boring is so yesterday. Why waste your spark on someone who doesn’t appreciate your fire?

No. To living my life based on how you live your life. I am so tired of judgement. If you want to wear pjs all day and eat jelly beans, especially the green ones because you think they count as “greens,” if I want to hang with you, I’ll pull on my onesie and bring over a bag of Fruit RollUps, because fruit. I don’t judge so thank you for not judging me.

No. To snow and cold. I’m a summer girl so how I ended up living in the northeast is mind numbing. I hate winter. I hate cold. I hated living with a man who said, “just put on another sweater” when he should have come over and wrapped his arms around me to keep me warm.

No. To disrespect. On any level. On any subject.

No. To bullshit. If I see bullshit, I’m calling bullshit. If I hear bullshit, I’m calling bullshit. If I smell bullshit…well. Maybe you can clean up that shit yourself.

No. To that same old love. I’m so sick of that same old love. Feels like I’ve blown apart. I’m so sick of that same old love. The kind that breaks your heart. I’m so sick of that same old love. My body’s had enough. (Wow. Fab lyrics. Someone should use them in a song. Does Gwen Stefani read my blog?)

1930789_10206524165196014_6002387871208627579_nNo. To life without humor. To life without laughter. To life without people who like me, and get me, and still like me after they get me.

Because while I will no longer be a doormat, I’m still going to treat you with respect, honor your worth, pay attention to what you say, listen with both ears and eyes open, tell you the truth, and call you on your bullshit. And ask that you call me on mine.

Goodbye 2015. You won’t be missed.

Hi there 2016. Grab a glass and come say hello.

How was your 2015? Blast or bust?

 

 

 

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18 thoughts on “2016: My Year Of Hella No”

  1. Love your list except for the snow and cold. You know how I love living in Colorado and I couldn’t ski without it!
    2015 sucked big time for me too. I’m looking forward to a waaaaay different 2016.
    YOU GO GIRL. *leaves to glue gun star to her door*

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 2015 sucked ass. Big time. In December I went to work every day but one – sick as a damned dog – because I couldn’t say no. I am the department’s doormat. As a result, my immune system said “sayonara, bitches, I’m out”. I am now recovering from yet another surgery and a bad case of shingles – every bit as painful as the commercials say.

    Yet…I didn’t have the shit storm that swirled all around you. I am in a warm and sunny place – my air conditioner is running right now!!! And the man I love is taking excellent, stupendous, loving care of me as he has always has (in sickness and in all that other jazz). But if he doesn’t find something to do for a few hours soon, it could get ugly up in here.

    There are a lot of things I count as fruit – wine, jelly, lime flavored Tostitos, apple fritters, and margaritas.and I consume them standing over the sink in my pajamas or my ratty bathrobe. I count chapstick as makeup, and I don’t give a flying rat’s ass if anyone likes the way I look, think or feel..

    I love your list of things you are saying no to. I’m gonna join you in a few of them. May 2016 reward you in ways you haven’t even thought of yet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Sounds that even with all the shit that went on with you in 2015, you’ve got the right attitude. I want me some of that! Including the warmth and sunshine, and a nice guy of my own. Oh. And mucho margaritas as they are, if prepared correctly, their own food group. Hope your 2016 is fabulous and full of fun. Hugs. xo

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    1. Hey there. Happy New Year! 2016 is going to be all about what’s good for me. I’m thinking west coast but you never know. And I was thinking of driving so I could be knocking on your door this summer on my way. *grin*

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  3. My 2015 was a ginormous pile of suck, and there has been nothing to indicate that 2016 would amount to anything more than “2015 Part Two: The Search for More Suck.” Then I had this stupid thought about perception. It’s dumb, on the surface, but it makes sense. For the last four years, I have had “teh severe manic-depressions” thing, and life has been a roller coaster ride from hell. You can generally find me in the Abyss. What I’ve decided to do this year is fight it as if it weren’t invincible. My new attitude is one of “let’s get better,” as opposed to “let’s make this suck as little as possible.” It’s a subtle difference. The same mirror, but the opposite side. Instead of being pissed that I can’t write–two of the most fucked-up manifestations of this shit is that I can barely write and I can’t read books like I used to–I’m going to write, even if it sucks. I’ll put it on my blog. My blog is there for me to post my writing, no matter how shitty it is. And so I shall. I’m doing the Twitter thing more. I’m on FB. I’m trying to do more things with flesh and blood people. Some days, it kicks my ass to put that much out there, but I’ll keep trying. So fuck 2015. 2016 might suck just as bad, but at least I’ll go down swinging. (nb: not swinging, like my potential future girlfriend and I engaging in naughty acts with another couple or two, but swinging as with a baseball bat (just wanted to make that clear 😉 )) Happy Fucking New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m new here and I think I’m going to like it here. 2013 was my year of suck, and as long as I survive every year after that I count it as a win, but I’m making 2016 my year to do more than just survive it. I’m going to own it.

    Liked by 1 person

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