I want to see more REAL men. Preferably NAKED REAL men.

Ever stood in a drug store and counted the number of magazines for women on the shelves? I have and had to use my fingers AND the fingers of the woman standing next to me.

It made me want to hurl, people. Right into my Prada Payless purse.

Where were the magazines for REAL men?

Many were fashion magazines featuring bone-thin girls younger than some of my shoes. Wearing something that I’d mop the floor with, along with expressions of what I considered haughty disdain.

But maybe they were just hungry?

Female health magazines were plentiful. But really, editors should take the time to learn how to text each other. Depending on which magazine you decide to buy, you could end up:

1. Drinking too much water.

2. Drinking not enough water.

3. Drinking the wrong kind of water.

4. Only drinking water from icecaps around Iceland.

5. Only drinking water from icecaps around Iceland flavored with bull testicles. (TRUE STORY.)

By the time you finish taste testing, you could have drowned.