TEN Reasons Numbered Posts Are So Yesterday

Who doesn’t love making a list then ticking it off, or as I like to do, getting out a ruler and drawing a nice, neat line right through the middle. Twice.

When did numbered lists become the Kanye of blog posts?

Numbered lists seem to be the itemized notes de jour of online media.

Everywhere you go, someone’s put together a “Reasons Why” or “How To” or “Must Have” list that features numbers. It’s like they’re saying you’re a bad person if reading 106 ways to flambé a chicken is NOT the most important thing you’ll do all day. Too much choice, like too much of anything, is harmful to your (mental) health.

I’m confused enough deciding what side to part my hair in the mornings.

DEAR NETFLIX: PLEASE STOP TELLING ME I LIKE BOLLYWOOD MOVIES

The saying, “you get what you pay for” isn’t always true. I once won the low bid at a bachelor’s auction and can say with some measure of certainty — don’t judge a book by its cover, and good things come in small packages. IfyouknowwhatImean.

After being a Netflix subscriber for a while now, I’ve reached the conclusion I’d rather stand in line at the movie theater — freezing my ass off — casting the evil eye on nasty little line cutters and trying not to weep when the cashier tells me the price for two tickets. All that would be worth it because lately, Neflix has been letting me down.