Tourists say the darndest things!

Blogdramedy here reporting “live” from the sunny east coast of Sicily. When did backpacks become the go-to travel accessory of over 65-year olds? Why do the packs never match what they are wearing? Do they know they’re all hunched over like Quasimodo?

It makes my brain hurt.

Against all odds, NWR (The Nudge Wink Report) management approved my travel request but, so far, are refusing to cover the cost of all this in-depth investigative snooping. I’m starting to think they just wanted me out of the office.

But forget that. Let’s run through the checklist:

Hung over? No.
Getting enough sleep? Yes.
Too much coffee? Never.
Freaking out about eruptions from Mount Etna? Ever so slightly.
Embarrassed by fellow tourists? Of course.

It’s enough to make you cancel your reservation

A vacation should be your time away from the crazy. Remind me never to travel to any of the same vacation spots these people have booked. I’ll take that upgrade and trade you a bus tour of “OH MY GOD THESE PEOPLE ARE NUTS!”

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THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY “THOMAS COOK VACATIONS FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS”:

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food.”