Blogging, Humor

I believe blogging is a drug-free way to save your sanity

I believe that Marvin The Martian is an under-rated cartoon character.

I believe saying “I love you” can sometimes be code for “you’re a shithead but I love you anyway.”

I believe that if you butt selfie more than once, even as a joke, you can’t sit on any furniture in my home.

I believe “would you like fries with that” should never be said in the form of a question.

I believe I will miss Jon Stewart and his daily dose of reality.

I believe constantly interrupting people is unbelievably rude.

I believe that, sometimes, there are too many olives and too few martinis.

I believe signing up on a sugar daddy dating site is really kinda icky.

I believe that coke belongs in a glass, not up your nose.

I believe in giving gifts for no particular reason.

I believe spring will arrive. Eventually.

I believe that reading Somerset Maugham’s short stories can change your life.

I believe that songs should be more than seven words repeated over, and over, and over, and over.

I believe in a woman’s right to choose. Anything she damn well pleases.

I believe that smiling can really piss off some people.

I believe you should never show up without calling first.

I believe the earth is round.

I believe my daughter is amazing.

I believe guns do not belong in the home.

I believe you don’t always have to share your chocolate.

I believe making a seven-figure salary running a non-profit is criminal.

I believe in naps.

I believe we all need to unplug from our devices more often.

I believe that cilantro is the devil’s spice.

I believe we need to stop with the numbered headlines already.

I believe that if you don’t use your turn signal, you are an idiot.

I believe in dancing your ass off.

I believe you can wear skinny jeans at any age.

I believe men look way hotter in boxers.

I believe I do not need a second double espresso this morning.

What do you believe?

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25 thoughts on “I believe blogging is a drug-free way to save your sanity”

      1. Think about it. You crawl through that chute of soot and stink bug carcasses, end up in the fireplace covered with gunk, and once you get a chance to look around, there’s no plate of cookies, no cougar on the couch in a teddy – nuthin! Yeah, I know it’s not exactly December 25th, and they weren’t necessarily expecting you, but where’s the love? You track soot and ashes over to the fridge and find a half filled bottle of German wine. Too sweet for your tastes normally, but it’s all there is. You sit on the couch, leaving an ass-print that no amount of dry cleaning will ever remove, and take a pull of the gewurztraminer and kick off your boots for a minute.
        …you get the picture….

        Liked by 1 person

          1. I’ve already written about off-season Santa drinking with the Easter Rabbit and a few other cronies in the Florida panhandle – maybe I need to revisit the topic for off season chimney work – a dark, gritty expose’. For the record, it was Food and Wine who pantsed him, I only had him kicking off his boots.

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    1. You charmer, you can have all the cilantro you want. Take it. TAKE IT ALL!

      I’m overly sensitive to the taste and find it flavors the entire dish way too much. *shivers and makes scrunched up face*

      Like

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